{"id":4705,"date":"2026-01-24T22:48:20","date_gmt":"2026-01-24T22:48:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/?p=4705"},"modified":"2026-01-24T22:48:20","modified_gmt":"2026-01-24T22:48:20","slug":"a-small-box","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/?p=4705","title":{"rendered":"A Small Box."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The elderly minister was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning.
In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box there for their entire 25 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the minister asked her, \u201cWHY?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The wife replied that she hadn`t wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time during their marriage that he had delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The minister felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She replied, \u201cEach time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbors for $1.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church.
\u201cReverend,\u201d she said, \u201cI have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It\u2019s very embarrassing. What should I do?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have an idea,\u201d said the minister. \u201cTake this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. \u201cAnd who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?\u201d he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJesus!\u201d, Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, you are right, Mr. Jones,\u201d said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. \u201cWho is your redeemer?\u201d he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGod!\u201d Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRight again,\u201d said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The minister asked, \u201cAnd what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, \u201cYou stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I\u2019ll break it in half and shove it up your ass!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAmen,\u201d replied the congregation.<\/p>\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The elderly minister was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning.In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents. Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4706,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4705","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4705"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4705\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4707,"href":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4705\/revisions\/4707"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4706"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/auditcops2026.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}